Sat, 19 Aug 2006 13:26:08 GMT

Its funny how life is.

Seems to me. No matter WHAT choices you make. What direction you take, there's this line. A common thread if you will. And you tangle yourself up in it. No matter what. No matter how far you think you've distanced yourself from it. Its there, at the next turn. Your direction in life.

And I don't believe in destiny. Or even Fate.

Case in point. I'll use me, as an example. Not because I find myself all that interesting. But just because. It works. Its a perfect example.

Take my name for instance. In itself, a product of my hippy parents. Deciding to speak out against THE MAN, they named me the opposite of my Gender. I mean really. What kind of statement IS that? Someone sees a cute little baby girl, and thinks, 'Yeah. We'll name her George.' And so it began. My life. A testament, right from the get go, of my parents beliefs. Not that it would stop there. No. That would have been simple. Can't have that.

So. This girl, named George. Me. Raised on an organic farm, in Canada. But not just some normal country town. No. An island. And not the kind of island you'd be on, and never know, because it was so large. Nope. A tiny one. Population 300. Are you getting the joke yet?

Wait theres more. Don't start laughing yet. I haven't even BEGUN the punchline.

So hippy parents. Hippy kid. Not so hippy older brother. Thread started. I liked it that way when I was young. Play at school, with my friends. Come home, goof around with my brother, and help out on the farm. It was normal, to me. And I liked it. But things have to change. Things can't just be simple.

Turns out, Im smart. Smarter than the island school feels capable of teaching. So. Im sent to the city. Away from the water. Away from my friends and family. To go to a city school. With Gifted programs. When all I wanted to be was just like everyone else.

Gifted programs lead to gifted higher learning. And I found myself 400 miles away, in a big city. Going to school, learning all kinds of crazy things. Not one of them being about The Man, or Organic Farming. I'd lost my roots. Or rather, buried them. I was civilized. EDUCATED. I didn't read tea leaves, or do tarot. My Brother's and my antics were fond memories, and my mother's habits amused me. But, I knew better. They were part of the past. Part of who I was, but not part of who I'd become.

That was all wishful thinking.

Not real.

So why. Why did I end up back on the farm? When Matt was out seeing the world? Why was I the one milking goats, and sewing crops. Helping Dad create a wind turbine watering system; selling our vegetables and cheeses at the Sunday Market?

Its simple really. That thread started somewhere. Home. Family. You are who you are. And blood is thicker than dreams. Reality keeps you grounded. And family is your own personal reality.

Its not that I wasn't happy. What was there to be unhappy with? Small town, where everybody knows everybody? The beach no matter where you turn? Living on an island? Paradise right?

Even paradise has its dark side. No matter who refuses to believe it. Bad choices, still lead to bad consequences. No matter how tightly that thread is strung, it's still very capable of unraveling.

Not just unraveling, but getting all tangled up. Tied in knots so tight, you can't even imagine getting them undone. So. You do what feels right. Retrace your steps.. or take large new ones.

I wasn't about to retrace any of those steps. Once is enough thanks. And that family I told you about? That personal reality? You have to look out for them too. Just like they look out for you.

So once again, I find myself miles from any water. In the most opposite environment than I can even imagine myself in. Vegas... like some sort of tripped out entertainment overload. But Matt insisted. Just to get away. As far away as one could, from their own reality. He sent me where he'd felt the most freedom. But Im on to him. He also sent me, where he knew Id be kept an eye on.

Not that I mind. Of any of Matt's friends, Brown is the one I know the most about. Not that I know a whole hell of a lot about him. Thats part of the deal right? Part of the game?

Goat farmer, does Vegas. Now.. that really is the punchline.

George's Thoughts